I love hearing stories about how people decided to take up ballet (or anything equally as challenging) as an adult. I also love telling people how my journey began.... so hear it goes.
I always find it interesting that some this just work themselves perfectly into our lives. This is how ballet entered my life at the age of 25.
I'm a registered veterinary technician, and anyone who has worked as a vet tech or assistant knows it is a very physically taxing and vigorous job.
I don't know how or when it happened, but I developed a constant nagging pain on my left shoulder and neck. One day I when out on a bike ride and I strained my neck and shoulder further, that's what finally pushed my body to the edge. I was running a hot bath to soothe my aching shoulder when a sharp pain from my neck through my shoulder shocked me into the reality that something was wrong and I needed help.
I had mentioned this pain to my doctor on more than one occasion and after some radiographs of my back and legs I never heard back. I tried to ignore my daily discomfort, and figured it would eventually go away. Well the pain on the day of the bike ride was too severe to ignore, I couldn't get out of bed without assistance.
After my visit with the doctor, I was prescribed Motrin, muscle relaxers, and physical therapy. When I met with my physical therapist he asked some questions, reviewed my record, and said "you're pretty flexible aren't you?"
Me confused, "I guess, I don't really know, I mean I can touch my toes." He walks over and manipulates my arms and hands and says, "yup".
He later explained how some people with a lot of flexibility can have constant aches and pain due to lack of stability. I don't know the details of how or why that happens but basically he told me I had to work on my posture and strengthening my core. Ugh I thought "how the heck am I supposed to fix my posture I've been slouching since I was 13."
This is where my research into "fixing" myself began. I tried to stick with my physical therapy but sometimes it seemed to make me feel worse. When I researched posture I would come across several ballet forums and always disregarded them, but I guess subconsciously the seed was planted then.
I tried working on my posture, but man was it difficult to be aware of it at all times. I became very frustrated and also very depressed. I couldn't enjoy anything, even sitting down to watch a movie was uncomfortable. There were times I felt hopeless, and thought "how am I supposed to live my life like this?"
I had been told that there was not much else I could do, that my pain was muscular and could possibly never heal. I continued to experiment with different things. I was determined to find something that would give me some relief at the very least.
In my research, I came across information about how psychology can affect chronic pain. Now I don't know how true any of it is, but hell I was willing to try anything. So I thought maybe I need to get over my depression and my anxiety and the pain will go away.
I shifted my focus on improving my mood. I tried a few things and in the process came across a type of therapy that required you to develop an "anchor". I won't go into exactly what it is or how its supposed to work, but in the process of developing it you're supposed feel excited and happy.
So there I was at home alone blasting my itunes and dancing around like a clown. ( I'm really good at making myself laugh by the way), when a classical song comes on. So I started "dancing" like a ballerina. I felt like an idiot but at the same time I thought "how cool would it be to dance to classical music" and I forced myself to get over how silly I felt and continued dancing my self taught ballet, and you know what? It felt wonderful. I felt the passion building up inside of me but also regret that I had never tried ballet when I was younger.
I didn't stop there of course. My mind was filled with questions. I'm the kind of person who obssessively looks for answers. Can adults learn ballet? Where would I find a place that would teach adults? I had to know, I had to find a way to learn ballet. That day was the day it all began. That was almost 3 years ago.
